She Is More (a Note to My Boys)

After watching the video below today, it struck me that as a Momma to two boys, one of the most important things that I will ever do in my lifetime is to teach them that women and girls are not put on this Earth for them.

5/16/2016

To my sweet, brilliant, beautiful boys,

A woman owes you nothing, my sons. A female is more than her hemline and the size of her breasts. A woman is MORE than a toy for your pleasure, or a disposable cup for you to drink from and then throw away.

Respect her, appreciate her, humble yourself, my boys. Treat her as you want to be treated and know that she can do anything that you can do, and you better believe that she will. She can also do something that you never will – grow men in her belly to raise and add to the pool of people with opened eyes and respect for women. It’s a circle, my sons. You are a part of a beautiful circle, and the future and world that your daughters and son grow up in depend on me and you and how we treat women today.

You are in charge of you, buddy, and how she is dressed or how drunk she is or what her body looks like has nothing to do with your behavior and how you treat her. How short her shorts are or if her shoulder or bra strap is showing does not concern you. It is not there for you. You are in charge of you, always. You are owed nothing, my sons. She owes you nothing. Ever.

Also, remember that no means no, my boys. Saying ‘Yes’ and then fell asleep does not mean yes. ‘Maybe’ does not mean yes. ‘I guess so’ does not mean yes. Only YES means yes, boys. And even after she says yes, she can still say ‘No,’ and respecting that no is more important that I will ever be able to express to you.

Her body is hers alone and you have no say what she does with it, my boys. Even if you don’t like what she does with her body, or don’t agree her choices, keep it to yourself because it doesn’t concern you unless she asks. And even if she does ask, be kind to her and remember that her body is still hers to do with what chooses no matter what your opinion might be.

As a woman, my boys, I’ve been conditioned to think that it’s okay for an unknown man to tell me to smile or to whistle at me  or wink, or even that it wasn’t a big deal to have been groped by an unknown man on an amusement park ride as a teenager. I don’t know if I’ve told many people about that, my boys, but I felt violated and helpless and taken advantage of, and I was only touched on the top part of my body over my clothed. I can’t imagine what it is like for woman or a girl to be violated in ways more unthinkable than a grope. She owes you nothing, boys. No part of her body belongs to you. You are not entitled to anything. Remember that always.

She is more than her body. #sheismore

I love you both with a heart so full it could burst,

Your Momma (forever and always)

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Dear Reader,

Do you have a story to tell or something to say to someone regarding this post?
Tag it with #sheismore
We are with you, dear friend.

Springing

Spring is in full swing here in Northern California. Mid 70s and sunshine with a few cloudy, windy days thrown in for good measure. I love it, hardcore. So many people seem to have allergies now and I’m super thankful not to have much more than pressurized ears in the morning sometimes. People smack-talk Spring because of the pollen and itchy eyes, but I’m over here enjoying the outdoors before the real heat comes and I feel like lizard jerky the second I step outside.

With all of the clear skies and warm weather, that brings less sickness and germs going around (germaphobe here) and also dry ground (dirty wheels + carpet = suck), so we’ve been heading to the park a lot more often! Lemme tell you, going to the park with two little kids while in a wheelchair is not the most awesome thing ever. My chair sucks on tanbark and sand, so I pretty much have to stay on the sidelines and hope the boys don’t die falling off the tall-ass rock walls and such. (Please don’t fall off, my babies!)

While we’re still trying to figure out what to do with my robot leg, the boys and I have been visiting the “Granny Park” pretty frequently. The boys deemed it the Granny Park because it’s right down the street from Mom’s house, Granny. The G.P. is designed for people of all abilities. That’s right! A wheelchair friendly park. No tanbark or sandpits to spin these wheels in, baby. BOOM! The actual play structure is partially wheelchair accessible, too. It’s SUPER cool to be able to go up there and chase the boys around. So thankful!

I was able to go up on the structure and snap this picture of my big runt trying to steal the last bite of my little runt’s cake pop. Teddy even let him eat it. That’s true love right there.

Spring is here, folks, and I’m in love!

 

Little Quick Ones (#1)

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I am all about quick and easy when it comes to doing things with my boys. Like, quiiiiccckk, please. Mommy is busy. But then the #MomGuilt kicks in and I tell myself that they’re only little once, so I better get on that. Plus they’re cute, so that helps.

Roman had asked me how colors were made, and while I didn’t get into the whole light and wavelength and spectral colors bit, I decided to whip out the good ol’ Play-Doh and do a little color mixing with him.

We talked about Primary colors and how mixing two of those Primary colors will make a Secondary color. And then we talked about how mixing all three Primary colors will give you chocolatey brown every time. He dug that, since chocolate is life around here.

color mixing


What you’ll need:

1 tub yellow Play-Doh
1 tub blue Play-Doh
1 tub red Play-doh
Sheet of paper and a pen
1 eager little kiddo

What to do:

  1. Create your mixing sheet, using the picture above as a guide.
  2. Make 7 marble sized balls with the red Doh.
  3. Make 7 marble sized balls with the blue Doh.
  4. Make 7 marble sized balls with the yellow Doh.
  5. Go over the three Primary colors with your kiddo(s), adding the dough ball for each color as you introduce it.
  6. Have your little one get the dough ball for each of the boxes for you and place on the square as you go along.
  7. Have your L.O. mix the colors for each of the Secondary color boxes and ask them what color was created!
  8. Fill in the color name as you child names it.
  9. Do the same for each of the Secondary colors, as well as the brown at the end.
  10. High-five yourself. Quick art lesson FTW & then let you kiddo free-play with the Play-Doh while you enjoy a drink.

 

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Super cool, right?

I hope you enjoyed
the first Little Quick One!
Keep up the good work, Mommas.
You’re doing a great job!

Xoxo,
Steph

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The adventures of #projectvioletwalks continues!

We’re having a semi-difficult time fitting me, so no leg yet. An appointment for next Friday has been set and hopefully I’ll have something that fits and is wearable, at least for home use.

Slightly anxious about which clothes I’ll wear once I have my leg, since the LIM leg is a little bulky.

Will I need to size up? Ooooooo. Almost shorts season, so… SHOPPING!
Until then, I’ll be rollin’ around if you need me.

(Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ WHAT!)
#YESlimpbizkit #dontjudge #hashtag

 

 

A Leg to Walk On

 

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Getting fitted in San Francisco

Sooooooo… if you’re new to this blog, I have one leg.

Surprise!

I had cancer at age 11 in my bone and the doctors removed my leg to save my life. From ages 11 – 21, I wore a prosthetic leg and walked everywhere. I tried with every fiber in my body to hide this truth of mine, and it wasn’t until a month after my 21st birthday that I was re-diagnosed with the same cancer and wearing a leg became a thing of the past.

Now I’m 31 and a half years old.

I’ve been on and off wearing different legs made by different people over the past ten years. Every once in a while, the stars will align and I will have a leg that fits me well for a while, but over-all, they hurt. Like, wear-sores and pinching and pain on my inner-thigh kind of hurt, all up in that area. Forty-five minutes every morning to get my leg on “right” and comfortably. Trips to the leg doctors for adjustments and re-fitting every month. Pain. Swelling. Abrasions. Tears and lots of frustration. It’s not supposed to be like this, right?

For that past year, I’ve been trying to get into a leg  (more specifically, a LIM Infinite socket). My insurance refuses to cover the LIM limb, as it’s a new socket system and Kaiser doesn’t like new and innovative? I don’t know. (Someone has to be first, right?) We’ve had a really great experience working with the people who own and work for LIM, though. And Stephanie gets what she wants.

After seeing a prosthetists that I was not satisfied with, I  switched prosthetic companies. I wanted someone who was supportive of my desire for a LIM socket and also was really, really good.

Enter Lars. (He’s the dude up in the picture, top right.)

You know when you get a good vibe from someone? When they’ve got good energy and it feels right? That’s Lars. He likes… no, scratch that. He loves what he does. Lars is kind and friendly and doesn’t mind when I bring the boys into the office and they’re loud and little. He has been working with me to get what I want, to help me get into a LIM leg, to help me walk comfortably. I’m currently dealing with some tricky pain issues and we’re having to troubleshoot and tinker to find a solution that will work with me and my little leg.

I’m hoping that this will be my answer.

 

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I’m hoping soon that I will, again, have two legs to walk on.
Send me some luck!

One thing in Vegas

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If you ever go to Las Vegas, please promise me that you’ll go see the Beatles LOVE Cirque show. I cheated and snuck this picture. I seriously thought I was going to get in trouble, but at this point in the show, the ushers were actually holding onto the fabric that you see in this picture. The whole bottom half of the audience is under there. It was pure magic. Also, note the wire-artist floating in the left hand corner. Looks creepy, but was so cool!

Seriously, though. If you are a Beatles fan at all, this show is worth the money. It will touch your soul. (Hippy AF, right?)

It will, though.

 

You must.

If you’re happy and you know it…

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Current obsessions:

  • LuLaRoe leggings
  • Letter flashcards with Roman
  • Brewing loose-leaf tea
  • My essential oils (#addict)
  • Trying to figure out Snapchat (I’m too old for this shit!)
  • Watching Daisy of Love again on Hulu (so bad that its good)
  • Trying to find out which flooring we want to re-do the house with (So expensive! Gah)
  • Teddy’s giant “bongo belly” and how soft it is
  • Kissing Dustin on those liiiips
  • Finishing up the last little bits before I launch my DIY company
  • Trying to keep my protein intake in-range (I have Chronic Kidney Disease – score!)
  • When Teddy busts out in dance
  • Every time I pick Roman up from Preschool and he’s so happy to see me. Am I really that cool? Makes me feel super loved
  • Driving Dustin’s car… he got a Ford Edge and its fancy AF
  • My haircolor. #lagoon
  • A Disneyland trip with my girl. September, hurry the hell up
  • Thinking about all that I’m going to do once I get my robot leg
  • Farmer’s Market starts next weekend. PUMPED
  • Setting up my office. Decorating and shit. Whoop!
  • Rosemary crackers, applesauce cups and thick-ass steaks
  • Also crab. All the crab

 

What are you loving?  Shhaaarrreee.